Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Winds Have Changed

Little hints of Autumn are sneaking up on me. This is the first time in 18 years that the changing of the seasons doesn't lead into school for me. Initially it was a sigh of relief to enter into my "Freshman year of life", but I also feel a little emptiness where I've always had comfort in knowing that I will return to school and to that constant rhythm to my life.

This change has led me to ponder the new ways I can expand and find something else to enjoy and submerse myself in. Working right now is fine, but it's really only to sustain this middle ground. I admit it's nice to come home after a day of work and be able to continue to do what I want and not be tied down to studying the rest of the night or catching up on reading for school.

Time feels different now, and I'm super selfconscious of how I spend it. I'm nervous to see how I'll feel like when school starts for everyone around me. How will I percieve the time that I previously spent in class and in the middle of my academic schedule? I know I will be super jealous of the students that will sit in my cafe on rainy days to read and study for school.

I already miss learning and being surrounded by like-minded students. I enjoy chatting with my professors, diligently taking notes, marking up textbooks, etc. I hate to admit it, but I almost enjoy the frantic feeling that I often experience with college. I strongly believe that the final products were rewarding and made all those moments of hell worth those sleepless nights and times of panic.

Right now I work at a cafe. Making coffee and flipping bacon for those in the center of the universe(Fremont).
I nanny a few hours during the week. These are some of the best hours of my days when I am able to play and giggle with kids and be reminded that these little souls are the people that reassure me that things really are okay. I've discovered that Elmo is my new zen.
I have an interview next week for a position to be a student athlete tutor at UW. I'm glad to be back on campus, helping other students with matierial I am passionate about. This will keep me connected to academia for a little while. Till I can get my butt in gear for graduate school, at least.

Lessons I've Learned Lately:
-Have a spare key to my apartment...and staple it to my forehead.
-Power blasting the soup ladle with water when doing dishes always ends up with a wet shirt.
-Life sucks, then you get a big ass tv.
-Eating in front of the big tv gives you an even bigger ass.
-You can always go up.